Wanting. Getting. But in the end not happy.

Since its been a months since my last blog I thought that its about time that I write a new one.

Its amazing how troubled one person can become with their own thoughts. But add others in to it and it gets even more confusing. I don't mean the thoughts of what someone thinks of a song, cake, football team or even diet coke. Its also amazing that people say if I have that I'll be happy, or if I have that my life will be complete. But will it? Truthfully? There's been times in my life when I've been like that. Like in May when all I wanted to do was get in to UCLAN to do my top up, that's all I wanted.

In June I was ruled out of sport and all I wanted to do was recover as quickly as possible to go and play cricket again, later on that year I had a minor health scare and all I wanted to do was to get the results back as quickly as possible. The downside was when I had recovered I still couldn't play and even when I got the results back I still wasn't happy. Just momentarily satisfied.

If we take sport again all I wanted was for my team Mansfield town to win the league to regain league status however how long does bragging rights of winning the league count for? Even then after they won the league my focus switched to can we stay in the league. So once again, wanting getting but in the end not happy.

There have been so many events in my life where I’ve wanted something but not been happy afterwards. But all the way through this there has been one person who has helped to guide me. Jesus. He’s done some wonderful things in my life its unreal. He guided me after my granddads death, he guided me after I got rejected from university twice, he’s helped me to get through times and problems that without him wouldn’t of been possible.

He is certainly one area of my life that I've wanted, got and certainly been happy afterwards.

Last week I had a job interview, it came up with a difficult decision. Either find the job and stay in Nottingham or go back to Preston for another years studying. I know now which one I should do but what happens after this year do I then come back to Notts or stay in Preston. So even when I have a decision made for me and I want it am I still not happy. Its amazing how Life is like this and the different ways people deal with things. Just remember God will Help!!!