Last week, while I was serving at a youth ministry with my church. I was on stage and after giving my testimony I got asked a question that stumped me for a bit.
I was brought up in a Christian home so I've always been a Christian. The question I was asked was:
"When did you have your first experience with God".
If anyone could of looked in my head at that moment you wouldn't of found a lot of action. You could of heard a pin drop.
I thought it was such a good question that it deserved a mention and maybe an explanation.
I've actually had two experiences with God. The first was when I was 16/17 I'd left church due to being beaten up and being put in hospital decided that I wouldn't go to church but I still prayed and read my bible every so often but my faith was pretty much gone. I got asked if I wanted to go to spring harvest from a family from my church in Nottingham and so I decided to go.
I sat near the back and sang the songs but unknown to me god was working in me. For some unknown reason I decided that I needed to buy a new bible, I had no idea why but I knew I needed one. Towards the end of the week I felt something stirring in me from my soul. this feeling was like a pain in my heart but not a heart attack pain, the pain you get when you've lost someone and then found them. I remember flinging my arms in the air and singing the songs out with all my heart. I started to pray during one of the songs for anything and everything, I remember apologising for everything I'd done and for turning my back on god when I should of asked him why things happened.
I'd never had this feeling before and I wanted it to leave me. I felt alive.
However that's not the end of the story. Due to various reasons I didn't go to church after that the cricket season came and so did long lie ins. However when I was 20 I had my next experience with God.
I joined a local church when I came to Preston and as soon as I walked in it felt like god spoke to me. I had found my home but that wasn't the experience this blog is about. I'd never been baptised and so I heard there was a baptism service coming up so I put my name down for it. But before that happened I was in church and the preacher asked if anyway needs help with their faith and wants prayer, that they should come to the front and get prayer. For some unknown reason I went to the front and knelt. I got prayer from a good friend of mine and I felt the holy spirit come in to me, it was a feeling I had from spring harvest and I never wanted it to leave me. For some unknown reasons my emotions started to bolt straight to my eyes. Good news I didn't cry. I felt with this feeling that anything was possible. God started to move more in my life and made my take on challenges that I never thought id do or could do.
The good news is God is still moving in my life and new challenges and opportunities are coming up all the time that I'm loving. Just being able to participate in church as a leader, volunteer or just a member of the church I feel like god has placed my at my home and where I need to be for the next chapter of my life.
Friday, 22 March 2013
Saturday, 2 March 2013
Life is like a railway.
People describe life as a journey or a road. each has a start and an end but do you really think it describes what lives journey is. Cause I don't.
I see life like a railway. Your the engine and friends, family, work colleagues, students, friends of friends are like the coaches of the railway. Each coach holds people, luggage which all relates to memories. The people who cause you trouble are like the wagons, full of dirty horrible memories that you just don't want to know or hold on to for that long but sometimes they stay for a while.
But to me the life described as a railway helps to create a mental picture of what life really is. The truck is your life and you can in a straight life. Sometimes you derail and its a matter of getting back on track. Other times you choose to came off one track and take another so switching points as they say. Other times there's a barrier in front of you and you have to go round corners to get past it.
In life you also get times when its an uphill struggle or times when you enter an unknown path and you just cant see through it. Kind of like a tunnel and its those times that God helps up. Guiding us through the hard times when we cant see an outcome but we know that our trust in him helps to get us through.
Hills, everyone struggles every now and then it does feel like were on an up hill struggle. Its times like that that we need a support engine or in human terms a friends. it helps to have friends that can help support the heavy load or help to push us through hard times, and once we're over the brow of the hill they run freely with us.
Sometimes people think too much about the past, what their pulling a long with them. Sometimes its better to decouple what your past wagons and then continue your journey. You'll find it much easier. Sometimes people look behind them at what they're pulling sometimes you cant see the end of it. how many wagons do you need to see behind you before you break?
Maybe think about it like this:
Are you the Flying Scotsman? Strong, powerful, forever pulling long trains.
Are you the Mallard? Fast, strong, sometimes rushing around to much that you miss things and sometimes have to go back on yourself.
Are you The Rocket? Different, something new, reliable, still going strong after all these years.
Are you a tank engine? Always staying in contact with people , working hard?
Maybe your like is like a railway, not a road journey.
I see life like a railway. Your the engine and friends, family, work colleagues, students, friends of friends are like the coaches of the railway. Each coach holds people, luggage which all relates to memories. The people who cause you trouble are like the wagons, full of dirty horrible memories that you just don't want to know or hold on to for that long but sometimes they stay for a while.
But to me the life described as a railway helps to create a mental picture of what life really is. The truck is your life and you can in a straight life. Sometimes you derail and its a matter of getting back on track. Other times you choose to came off one track and take another so switching points as they say. Other times there's a barrier in front of you and you have to go round corners to get past it.
In life you also get times when its an uphill struggle or times when you enter an unknown path and you just cant see through it. Kind of like a tunnel and its those times that God helps up. Guiding us through the hard times when we cant see an outcome but we know that our trust in him helps to get us through.
Hills, everyone struggles every now and then it does feel like were on an up hill struggle. Its times like that that we need a support engine or in human terms a friends. it helps to have friends that can help support the heavy load or help to push us through hard times, and once we're over the brow of the hill they run freely with us.
Sometimes people think too much about the past, what their pulling a long with them. Sometimes its better to decouple what your past wagons and then continue your journey. You'll find it much easier. Sometimes people look behind them at what they're pulling sometimes you cant see the end of it. how many wagons do you need to see behind you before you break?
Maybe think about it like this:
Are you the Flying Scotsman? Strong, powerful, forever pulling long trains.
Are you the Mallard? Fast, strong, sometimes rushing around to much that you miss things and sometimes have to go back on yourself.
Are you The Rocket? Different, something new, reliable, still going strong after all these years.
Are you a tank engine? Always staying in contact with people , working hard?
Maybe your like is like a railway, not a road journey.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Miracles do happen.
As some of you might of guessed from my title this blog will contain a miracle from my recent life. The miracle was so surprising that I'm still shocked now by it.
As a lot of you know this is supposed to be my final year at university however I applied to do a PGCE which if I completed it would allow me to be a lecture at university. I applied at four universities, Edgehill, Loughborough, Derby and Sheffield Hallam.
Just before Christmas I had an interview at my number one choice, Edgehill. Unfortunately I found out in my first week back at university in January that they rejected me. On the same day Loughborough had rejected but there course was full. For the best part of a month after hearing back from them I waited for Derby to get back to me and on one Saturday night they did.
It was a shock to hear back from a university on a Saturday however I got the email saying that they were going to reject me from the PGCE course and coupled on that email was Sheffield saying they were rejecting me because their course was full. I went for a drive to clear my head and talked and prayed silently while inside it felt like my world had collapsed.
I spoke to some people at church the morning before I went to see my adopted family and went looking for advice and help. Most of the people had the same thing to say. Don't go home, stay here. To be honest and fair, I'd love to stay in Preston. There's a church that feels like home and everyone is helpful and they've helped me through some bad times and helped create good times as well.
I woke up on the Monday afternoon and to my surprise there was an email from Derby offering me an interview. I emailed them back asking if it was for real considering they had rejected me and they said yes. I've got my interview in a couple of weeks and hopefully it'll go better then the Edgehill one.
So in 48 hours I had gone from being destroyed to completely over joyed. However I did something in the first couple of hours after receiving the two rejection notes. I praised god for the pain that that was causing me. a lot of you wont understand why but i prayed for about 20 minutes praising god and thanking him for putting me through that.
See I'm not the only one who goes through pain, suffering.... We all do.
I'm not the only one who's felt like he has no future.... We all have.
I'm not the only one to worry... We all do
Any Christian will tell you the story of Job and how he had a bad life and he still praised god through his suffering and pain. But at the end of the day its about standing tall, sticking your chest out and accepting that pain will happen and with friends you can get through it.
As a lot of you know this is supposed to be my final year at university however I applied to do a PGCE which if I completed it would allow me to be a lecture at university. I applied at four universities, Edgehill, Loughborough, Derby and Sheffield Hallam.
Just before Christmas I had an interview at my number one choice, Edgehill. Unfortunately I found out in my first week back at university in January that they rejected me. On the same day Loughborough had rejected but there course was full. For the best part of a month after hearing back from them I waited for Derby to get back to me and on one Saturday night they did.
It was a shock to hear back from a university on a Saturday however I got the email saying that they were going to reject me from the PGCE course and coupled on that email was Sheffield saying they were rejecting me because their course was full. I went for a drive to clear my head and talked and prayed silently while inside it felt like my world had collapsed.
I spoke to some people at church the morning before I went to see my adopted family and went looking for advice and help. Most of the people had the same thing to say. Don't go home, stay here. To be honest and fair, I'd love to stay in Preston. There's a church that feels like home and everyone is helpful and they've helped me through some bad times and helped create good times as well.
I woke up on the Monday afternoon and to my surprise there was an email from Derby offering me an interview. I emailed them back asking if it was for real considering they had rejected me and they said yes. I've got my interview in a couple of weeks and hopefully it'll go better then the Edgehill one.
So in 48 hours I had gone from being destroyed to completely over joyed. However I did something in the first couple of hours after receiving the two rejection notes. I praised god for the pain that that was causing me. a lot of you wont understand why but i prayed for about 20 minutes praising god and thanking him for putting me through that.
See I'm not the only one who goes through pain, suffering.... We all do.
I'm not the only one who's felt like he has no future.... We all have.
I'm not the only one to worry... We all do
Any Christian will tell you the story of Job and how he had a bad life and he still praised god through his suffering and pain. But at the end of the day its about standing tall, sticking your chest out and accepting that pain will happen and with friends you can get through it.
Thursday, 31 January 2013
I am coming out as a Disabled Student.
Inspired by others its about time I told people about the real me.
Like others at school I was bullied. I only had an interest in lessons where I didn't have to read much or write. I was bullied about my learning difficulties and weight. But hardly anyone took the time to find out what was wrong with me.
In year 2 I was tested for dyslexia and was considered bad enough to receive help which I got up to my GCSE's. My school at the time had backed me until two teachers said I wasn't that bad. However this wasn't to stay. I had another test and was found to have more then just dyslexia. I was diagnosed with pretty much no phonological memory, a short attention span and a low verbal IQ. This is when it hit home that I wasn't the same. I ended up re-sitting exams while at school because of my dyslexia, slow reading skills and no phonological memory to process information.
It was obvious after I left school that when I went for interviews or had to do written tasks as soon as I said I was dyslexic it was almost like I said I have two heads. people started treating me differently. One problem that has followed me around for years.
I've had help over the years to make me more comfortable while doing English tasks. I came to university and the only help I was given was a memory stick with programs that might help me and a dyslexia stick to put at the front of my work so they used a different marking scheme with my work. Until I hit my third year I then received some proper help. I received a woman who would help me with my spelling and grammar issues in work. In all my years of being in education the one thing I needed more then most was for someone to help proof check my work and help me to correct it. No one had really taken the time to help as they wanted the easy way out. But unfortunately there's no easy way out of being disabled.
But just because I'm disabled doesn't mean people should treat me differently because of it. It doesn't mean I'll be on the TV show undatebles just so it bring pleasure to views who have know idea what its like to be disabled, and compared to others maybe I'm not severely disabled but a disability is a disability.
What you treat Tom Cruise differently?
What you treat Winston Churchill differently?
What about Albert Einstein?
or Richard Branson, Cher, Jamie Oliver, Orlando Bloom, Agatha Christie, Whoopi Goldberg or Muhammad Ali.
All the above people has dyslexia and funny enough look where they are now.
So consider this, would you want to be treated differently if YOU were disabled?
Wednesday, 23 January 2013
Future, University, God and The Bible
So far this year I've tried to do things differently, instead of relying on myself to do things I've relied more on God. After getting baptised and turning 21 last year it is about time I took a mature outlook on life.
This stage last year with my future as many of you know. The main problem was would I still be coming back to UCLAN or even Longton Community Church. This felt like home to me and I didn't want to leave. If anything I would of camped in a cardboard box to stay in Preston. Looking back I don't think I was in too much danger of not getting in to university for a third year however, this year is the main problem. I finish my degree and hopefully will graduate (again) with a 2:1 behind me in to the big bad world. But my dream for the past couple of years has been to be a teacher or lecturer and for that I need to spend at least another year at university. So with all the energy and prayer I had I attended an interview at the university which would of kept me at home in Preston only to find out after Christmas that Edgehill and Loughborough had rejected me. Edgehill didn't like me and the next one I wanted their course was full. So I'm not relying on derby and Sheffield so any prayers ill be accepted with open arms.
This year I decided I was going to read the bible in a year which so far is going good. I've found it amazing when people mention Genesis people can only tell you the main stories, Creation, Noah, Joseph. But just from reading it over the past months I've learned so much that will add to my walk with God. I've now moved on to Job which id never read before and it helps to create the message below.
I've found through reading Job and the rest of the bible that God doesn't give us more then we can handle even though sometimes it feels different, and in the past I've found it hard to praise God when times have been really bad but Job had a worse time then me. Being covered in sores from head to toe he stilled worshipped and praised God. I've found its amazing how someone can do that even through all their troubles. These a Christian speaker who talks about his troubles and through his childhood he life was turned upside down and he inspired me to write an earlier blog (John 20 verse 1-15) check it out it gets you thinking.
Along with the bible I read a book called the purpose driven life that I'd recommend to anyone I found it helped me a lot. But one sentence from the book still sticks with me "God only puts worry in our life to tell us that we are drifting from him". When we recognise this to be true we go back to god and realise that the worry disappears.
So my advice to you is not to worry which can seem harder then it sounds and just pray to God. He's got the answers for you.
God has time, a place and answer for you so just keep praying.
This stage last year with my future as many of you know. The main problem was would I still be coming back to UCLAN or even Longton Community Church. This felt like home to me and I didn't want to leave. If anything I would of camped in a cardboard box to stay in Preston. Looking back I don't think I was in too much danger of not getting in to university for a third year however, this year is the main problem. I finish my degree and hopefully will graduate (again) with a 2:1 behind me in to the big bad world. But my dream for the past couple of years has been to be a teacher or lecturer and for that I need to spend at least another year at university. So with all the energy and prayer I had I attended an interview at the university which would of kept me at home in Preston only to find out after Christmas that Edgehill and Loughborough had rejected me. Edgehill didn't like me and the next one I wanted their course was full. So I'm not relying on derby and Sheffield so any prayers ill be accepted with open arms.
This year I decided I was going to read the bible in a year which so far is going good. I've found it amazing when people mention Genesis people can only tell you the main stories, Creation, Noah, Joseph. But just from reading it over the past months I've learned so much that will add to my walk with God. I've now moved on to Job which id never read before and it helps to create the message below.
I've found through reading Job and the rest of the bible that God doesn't give us more then we can handle even though sometimes it feels different, and in the past I've found it hard to praise God when times have been really bad but Job had a worse time then me. Being covered in sores from head to toe he stilled worshipped and praised God. I've found its amazing how someone can do that even through all their troubles. These a Christian speaker who talks about his troubles and through his childhood he life was turned upside down and he inspired me to write an earlier blog (John 20 verse 1-15) check it out it gets you thinking.
Along with the bible I read a book called the purpose driven life that I'd recommend to anyone I found it helped me a lot. But one sentence from the book still sticks with me "God only puts worry in our life to tell us that we are drifting from him". When we recognise this to be true we go back to god and realise that the worry disappears.
So my advice to you is not to worry which can seem harder then it sounds and just pray to God. He's got the answers for you.
God has time, a place and answer for you so just keep praying.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
2013 and First's
So happy new year to all that read this. I've been starting to write blogs but after a while struggled for topic areas so I thought this would be a good one to start on.
Since it is a new year there's a lot of people saying that this is their year and I'm no different. This is my year.
This is my year to graduate from university again. This is my first year in captaincy, This is my year to seriously think about my career. This is my year to think about where I want to live (Preston or Nottingham).
This year I've created another bucket list for this year with some of the things being more specific to the first 5 months of the year. This year is my random year of stuff. So as an audience you could have some influence on some things I do with in this year.
So far the things were have come up with is:
Lose two and a half stone,
Having a McDonalds on Christmas day,
Get a 2:1 at university,
Read the bible everyday.
While I write this I've figured out I need to do something for lent this year. So any suggestions are welcome and I'll see what people say.
As you can tell my list is short at the moment but adding this with some of the things on my bucket list blog then I have a few more but any suggestions are welcome
Since it is a new year there's a lot of people saying that this is their year and I'm no different. This is my year.
This is my year to graduate from university again. This is my first year in captaincy, This is my year to seriously think about my career. This is my year to think about where I want to live (Preston or Nottingham).
This year I've created another bucket list for this year with some of the things being more specific to the first 5 months of the year. This year is my random year of stuff. So as an audience you could have some influence on some things I do with in this year.
So far the things were have come up with is:
Lose two and a half stone,
Having a McDonalds on Christmas day,
Get a 2:1 at university,
Read the bible everyday.
While I write this I've figured out I need to do something for lent this year. So any suggestions are welcome and I'll see what people say.
As you can tell my list is short at the moment but adding this with some of the things on my bucket list blog then I have a few more but any suggestions are welcome
Saturday, 15 December 2012
Wanting. Getting. But in the end not happy.
Since its been a months since my last blog I thought that its about time that I write a new one.
Its amazing how troubled one person can become with their own thoughts. But add others in to it and it gets even more confusing. I don't mean the thoughts of what someone thinks of a song, cake, football team or even diet coke. Its also amazing that people say if I have that I'll be happy, or if I have that my life will be complete. But will it? Truthfully? There's been times in my life when I've been like that. Like in May when all I wanted to do was get in to UCLAN to do my top up, that's all I wanted.
Its amazing how troubled one person can become with their own thoughts. But add others in to it and it gets even more confusing. I don't mean the thoughts of what someone thinks of a song, cake, football team or even diet coke. Its also amazing that people say if I have that I'll be happy, or if I have that my life will be complete. But will it? Truthfully? There's been times in my life when I've been like that. Like in May when all I wanted to do was get in to UCLAN to do my top up, that's all I wanted.
In June I was ruled out of sport and all I wanted to do was recover as quickly as possible to go and play cricket again, later on that year I had a minor health scare and all I wanted to do was to get the results back as quickly as possible. The downside was when I had recovered I still couldn't play and even when I got the results back I still wasn't happy. Just momentarily satisfied.
If we take sport again all I wanted was for my team Mansfield town to win the league to regain league status however how long does bragging rights of winning the league count for? Even then after they won the league my focus switched to can we stay in the league. So once again, wanting getting but in the end not happy.
If we take sport again all I wanted was for my team Mansfield town to win the league to regain league status however how long does bragging rights of winning the league count for? Even then after they won the league my focus switched to can we stay in the league. So once again, wanting getting but in the end not happy.
There have been so many events in my life where I’ve wanted
something but not been happy afterwards. But all the way through this there has
been one person who has helped to guide me. Jesus. He’s done some wonderful
things in my life its unreal. He guided me after my granddads death, he guided
me after I got rejected from university twice, he’s helped me to get through
times and problems that without him wouldn’t of been possible.
He is certainly one area of my life that I've wanted, got and certainly been happy afterwards.
Last week I had a job interview, it came up with a difficult decision. Either find the job and stay in Nottingham or go back to Preston for another years studying. I know now which one I should do but what happens after this year do I then come back to Notts or stay in Preston. So even when I have a decision made for me and I want it am I still not happy. Its amazing how Life is like this and the different ways people deal with things. Just remember God will Help!!!
He is certainly one area of my life that I've wanted, got and certainly been happy afterwards.
Last week I had a job interview, it came up with a difficult decision. Either find the job and stay in Nottingham or go back to Preston for another years studying. I know now which one I should do but what happens after this year do I then come back to Notts or stay in Preston. So even when I have a decision made for me and I want it am I still not happy. Its amazing how Life is like this and the different ways people deal with things. Just remember God will Help!!!
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