James 4 7-10

I thought I’d write about something that has impacted my life recently. While reading different books within the bible I came across James chapter 4. Although I’ve previously read it opened my eyes massively. After researching in to it I felt compelled to share it.

Four verses really stood out, verses 7-10.

⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

It’s amazing how in 56 words there’s 10 commands of how to get closer to God if we need rescuing and understanding who God is. The commands are: submit, resist, come near, wash, purify, grieve, mourn, wail, change, humble yourselves. By taking out the command words out it leaves 44 words. So, on average 4.4 words per command. Short, sweet and direct. Its amazing how punchy these commands are. I found that this isn’t the first time a communication is short, sweet and to the point. When Mary and Martha sent a note to Jesus about Lazarus, it simply said, ‘Lord the one you love is sick’ (John 11:3). Just seven words to tell Jesus that someone was ill.

It seems on reflection that some of the commands are weird and unusual, but digging deeper into them actually shows the opposite.

Submit, I found for ages I couldn’t get to grips with this word. To most people it means to give up or give in. To lose. However, researching recently I found it’s more about finding your position, such as when a new recruit joins the army, he submits to his role and knows where he stands and what officers are above him. It’s the same within Ephesians (5:21-33), wives submitting to their husbands and husbands submitting to the church.

Resist, quite simple really to understand but sometimes hard to control the urges from the devil. As we live with free will all round us and we get easily influenced by others resisting is sometimes one of the hardest to do. When resisting we should remember our shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16), Knowing that we have faith will help us to resist the devil.

Come near, sounds easy to do however, responses from God vary and sometimes we have to change to hear them. If we’re drawing closer to God are, we walking the walk and talking the talk? Elijah found that God doesn’t always come in the busy loud times and events, but sometimes we have to step back to here him in the quiet times (1 Kings 19 11-13).

Wash, wash away your sins, we’re baptised in the holy waters and been given Gods grace. Keep the body guarded from the devil. The more that we sin the more we have to clean our hands, all sin is dirty but we have Gods’ grace.

Purify, our hearts should only be on God, no one or anything else should come between that. Why should we doubt Gods’ amazing and generous grace when we doubt him? Our rewards will be so much better if we just believe in him and trust him. Jesus blessed those who hadn’t seen his raise from the dead but believed that he had (John 20 29).

Grieve, mourn and wail all fit in to one package. Do we hurt when we sin? Do we feel sad after we’ve sinned? When we repent do, we beg God for forgiveness and actually feel forgiven or do we just brush it off? We should open our hearts when we repent, if we don’t then we won’t be forgiven, confess your sins and let God show his mercy and grace.

Change, if we’re happy sinning would we be happier living in Gods’ glory and getting our true pleasure in heaven? We should be changing from our sinful nature to living for God. If we can live for God and leave our sin behind, then we’ll have changed our hearts and be transferred our hearts view to him, but it isn’t easy. Sometimes it takes time, like a caterpillar evolving into a butterfly there's no quick fix.

Humble yourselves, don’t compare yourselves to other, keep yourself submitted to God. Look at what God expects of us. Why should we compare ourselves to others when its not our job to judge others? Be humble and think what your live would be like without God.

The whole chapter really impacted my life recently. I'd suggest reading the rest of chapter 4 and try and follow the ten commandments of James. 

(All quotes from NIV translation).

Praising In The Storm.

So its been just short of two years since my last blog post. During that time there has been plenty of ups and down. After seeing a service today from Trent Vineyard I thought it was time to finally put my thoughts to paper and write another blog praising God during the hard times.

Since the start of 2020 the world has been a tough place for all of us with this virus flying around. However, just have a look at what the the lock down has done all over the world. Viennas' waters are now clean of pollution and are now clear, the smog over China has disappeared, it has brought friends, neighbours and families closer together, its shown how mentally strong people are and how as a country we can pull together to get through a bad time.

However, the meaning of this blog is to show you the good things out of sad events. Even in the bible it says to praise the lord in all circumstances Psalm 34:1 (I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips). We can all do this when things are going our way, but most of us fail to praise God when bad things happen.

At the start of the year I lost someone very dear to me who was also my cornerstone. Even while watching over her in hospital, slowly passing away I could still praise God for the glorious 28 years we’d had together. During that time two bible verses came to mind. Romans 10:9, (if you confess with you mouth that Jesus is Lord and belief in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved),and John 14 2-5, (In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also, and whither I go ye know, and the way ye know). It felt weird to ask someone who confess with their mouth Jesus is King when they couldn’t respond so a rare smile was accepted. 

A friend of mine also had a bad start to 2020. A death in the family also coupled with the loss of the family pet, a cancelled wedding and a close family member having major surgery. Even syringe this tough time we can still praise. She had memories of spending time with the family member and pet. She still had her dad after his major surgery and they still had the family wedding to look for to. Again in a place of darkness light was shining brightly.

Even in the bible in Acts Paul was praising in prison after being beaten, striped and imprison for his faith. At the stroke of midnight he started celebrating, singing and praising God even though he was in such a bad time. Acts 16 22-25 The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks. About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.

Job was still able to praise God even when he was losing everything around him. Job 1: 20-22 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

    and naked I will depart.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

    may the name of the Lord be praised.”

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

It’s just amazing how in dreadful circumstances there are still good things that be praised and brought out of it. After after failure, death, illness and heartbreak.

The best pound I ever spent was in a book called Count It All Joy. If you ever thought your life was bad, please read that book. After all the bad events that happen in this woman’s life she still has the presence, faith and grace to praise.

Praise be to God!

Mental Health.

So its been a while but recently a massive topic has come into peoples lives around me. The subject today is still sort of taboo and noone really understands it. In some cases its hard for the person to say how they feel and in other cases its hard for people to understand. As you've already guessed, that topic is mental health.

Quite recently I've had a handful of friends battling mental health problems. But as an on looker its hard to see what happens. some people describe it as having two voices in your head and we choose which one to listen to and then amplify it. Others describe it as this is how society has made me feel. Others suffer because of their past and they struggle to overcome it.

There's a lot of different strands to mental health but because of society and technology nowadays this seems to have demonised some of the issues. According to society its ok to be anxious waiting for test results, but being anxious about going to work, a meeting or waiting on a reply is classed a a mental illness. Being stressed with kids is 'normal' but getting stressed at work is seen as a sign of weakness. Being alone in a crowded room now seems the 'norm' but when someone says they're depressed its classed as attention seeking. How can it be that one strand is ok and the other isn't??

Nowadays, people are becoming more involved in social media and portraying a fake image about themselves because being liked by thousands of people across the world makes them feel happy about a life where talking face to face is now a problem. Everyone gets asked where they're working now or which car they're driving but how many people actually get asked if they're ok?? 

With social media and technology, we seem to be more involved with celebrities and people we don't even know rather then the friends and family who we should be spending our time with. missing out on quality time with people who could actually help us. The problems we have these days is that technology has got us to a stage where checking out phones every five minutes is fine but when your waiting for a reply you start to over think. Surely this shows that these are mental health problems. Checking your phone every 5 minutes is OCD, over thinking is paranoia, stalking someones social media builds anger and trust issues.

I saw this picture recently and for me it sums up how technology has taken how we used to be to how we are now. How trying to get fifty likes will make us happy instead of having that one friend who says, you look beautiful or lets meet up sometime.

Surely this shows that not only pictures or messages sent that trust issues can be broken and damaged within seconds. How misinterpreting a message because of how its written and not said because we've taken it on face value instead of asking the person who said it.

Where in this world currently 1 in 4 people struggle with mental illness in a year and where suicide is the biggest killer for men under 49. It only takes 30 seconds to check in with someone and ask if they're ok...........

Give blood. #Noexcuses

So it's been a while since I last wrote a blog and a recent event has changed that. Recently our family lost two family members with in a very short space of time. The second is the main reason behind this post.

A few years ago I decided to sign up to give blood and after a year I eventually did it, not knowing how close to home it would affect us. People have always given different reason as to why they give blood or reasons why other people should and in one way or another they are all connected to that person. My reason to start with was to give hope to other people, now its to give other people time. Time to survive or in some cases enough time for someone to say goodbye.

A few weeks ago I went to visit uncle in hospital. He'd been in for a while and after speaking to the nurses I found out everything he'd been through during his time. One thing that struck me was that he'd had 20 units of blood in one week. This hit me like a freight train. As a blood donor you never find out who your blood has gone to only that its been donated at a certain hospital. I took that as a sign. I said my goodbyes before I left and the hardest of all, goodbye to my uncle. A few hours later, it was goodbye. Ever since then, my passion and will has never been stronger for more people to donate to help others in situations like this.

Even for me the hardest thing is seeing a needle entering the body, that is something I have overcome to help up to three people with every pint of blood that I give. My reason for this blog is to urge people to sign up to donate blood or platelets. It only takes 45 minutes out of your day and you could help to save the lifes of people you love and care about. So far three of my friends have taken the plunge and decided to donate. For 45 minutes of your time you could help change the lives of others. The commitment is low, donate every three months for a male and four months for a female, how hard is it really to turn up three/four times a year. If it helps there's even snacks!!!!!!

I had to overcome a lot to go and donate blood but now I have an extra reason to donate and I'll be donating while ever I can. When I sat in the chair today I booked my next appointment. The staff in my local center are top notch and with first timers they guide you through it every step of the way. So what ever your excuse is, take the plunge.

If I can over come my fears and doubts, then whats stopping you?

• Approximately 1 out of every 7 people entering the hospital needs blood.
• 1 donation has the potential to save as many as 3 lives.
• 3 teaspoons of blood can save a baby's life.
• If there are 100 people in a room, 46 will have type O blood, 40 will have type A, 10 will have type B and four will have type AB.
• If 50 people donate, they could provide enough blood to take care of victims of a major car accident.
• If 20 people donate, they could help 1 burn victim.

Missing letters, Join today. #noexcuses

Relationships.

Have you ever had times in your life when all you've needed someone to help you or someone to talk to? Relationships are one of the most important things while we live on earth. I know of two stories that show that people who are the most desperate for someone to help that they go to different lengths to get help.

The first, a speaker is talking in a stadium and he gets a notion from God to go and speak and pray for a lad sitting on the vary back row of the stadium. He goes up to speak to him puts his hand on his shoulder and the lad starts weeping. He says he needs to talk to someone and points at the screen and said that Gods left me and I asked him to send you up here to pray with me otherwise I was going to do something. The lad pulled out a gun with the intent of ending it all if someone hadn't spoken to him. But God sent him someone to help him through his troubles.

The second, a guy checks in at a hotel when another man walks in and says he needs petrol. So the first man takes him there. The first man then pays for a petrol can, petrol and some how just knows something is wrong. The second man opens up to him and says that his sister had a heart attack, he hasn't been paid from work and he hadn't felt god in his life for a while.

The only thing is God was there. God answered their silent prays. He put someone in their life to help. He saved one man from death and another from depression.

Maybe you've got troubles in your life right now that you need to talk to someone with. If you've never prayed then pray let God answer your prayer, or ask for God to put someone in your life to talk to you.

I was recently talking to two people who's families health or their own health was affected in serious ways. Their pray was answered when they asked for someone to talk to. Their faith was restored when they had someone to talk to. Their prayer was answered when they thought God was back in their life. The only thing was God handed left them. The relationship had been closed from one side. But not from Gods side.

Very often God has put people in our lives for a reason and most of the time we turn away those people. the thing is when we are at our most vulnerable and hurt, 9 out of 10 people say Jesus Christ. Some are cursing but others are asking him to take away the pain as quickly as possible.

But from after reading this, take the offer of talking to the person that's put in your life, say that prayer for God to help you.

Matthew Chapter 11 verse 28

Things happen for a reason.

I recently watched a film I haven't watched since last year and there was one quote that stuck with me since Revelations 3 verse 7 "What HE opens no one can close and what HE closes no one can open". This got me thinking about things that have gone on in my past that either wont be given as an opportunity again or things that I wouldn't want again.

This got me thinking about what happens and if there was a reason behind it. Most of the time people say things happen for a reason but sometimes you don't know why it happened, so I got thinking about what had happened in my life and if there was a reason behind it.

On one occasion I was travelling on a train for my mates stag do and ended up talking to the bloke opposite me who happens to work for Sports Coach UK. Talk about lucky hey!!!! But what was the reason behind it???

I also found recently that saying no ends something that you had and makes things work, however in some cases it doesn't make things better. Recently I said no to something I was doing and a few weeks later got a new job, improved friendships, coaching opportunities all because I wanted to stop doing one thing and I got 3 things in return. One story I find was that I said no to playing county level sports when I was at university but what would of happened if I had said yes where would I be now???? But everything happens for a reason.

So sometimes it is hard to see why everything happens for a reason, look in the bible at David he had no idea what was going to happen in the lion pit but he had faith he knew that things happened for a reason. Look in the bible when Jesus died some people wouldn't of known why he'd died. People didn't know why Judas betrayed Jesus but everything happens for a reason. But it does say in the good book that: trust in the lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov 3:5-6

Back in September I had the chance to go to an academy and the day before we were due to start I had to say know. The reason that came out a month was a good enough reason to back out but at the time it just felt like I was lost but had faith because I knew everything happens for a reason.

So just remember when life gets tough and you feel a lone or feel like your being buried in the sand there will be a reason for it. Sometimes people just want to see how far they can push you before you say no or they want to see how strong you are. 

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25

The Big Bad World.

So its been a while since I last wrote a blog but here goes. Since leaving university life hasn't been easy, with my dad still signed off work and me not getting in to uni because of various reasons, I turned my hand to trying to find a full time job in the big bad world.

When I was at university I loved the phrase 'one day you'll be in the real world'. As a student life was so much more relaxed and it felt like that day would never arrive until now. The worst thing about being in the big bad world is unemployment. One thing I hate with a passion is being unemployed. For various years I've held part time jobs before, during and after university but when you want to get a full time job its like trying to sell your car. People will listen or take your CV but when you ask if they have any jobs going they become quiet and don't say anything. I found this to be true in most  places that I handed a CV or letter in to.

Recently I've found that the phrase " when one door closes another opens" does happen. I recent gained a full time job!!!!!!! I went through numerous interviews trying to find a full time and in some cases just a part time job. With my hours getting less and less where I was before I had to get out. A few days after an interview for a part time job The manager at a local pub asked me if I was still looking for a job and whether I'd like to apply there and I did. A week later the came round and now that I've got the job I can honestly say that its one of the most enjoyable jobs that I've had. Soon after this I saw a quote which is below which I think describes life perfectly.

I have found one thing comforting, God. In most of my blogs God gets a mention and that's because God does something in my life to make my life better. Recently my life changed slightly when I knew I wasn't returning to Preston but that ment God had something for me in store. Then earlier today I saw a quote which I'll share with you "an arrow can only be shot by pulling backwards, when life is dragging you back with difficulties, just imagine its going to launch you into something great".

Just remember that in Jesus' life he had hard times but on the other hand he had fantastic times so with a little prayer and belief life will get better and it'll make the hard times easier to cope with.

But until I have time to write a longer blog filling people in on Jesus, my life and the impacts these two things have had on other people. Keep believing.

Worry and Prayer

Two very interesting words: Prayer, Worry. But everyone at some point does worry and everyone does pray.

Over the past month I've had a lot of worry come in to my life and without prayer I don't know where I'd be.

Over the past month I've been worried about my future, my job, cricket, friends and family.

The future always worries everyone. With my I've graduated and thought I'd get on to do a PGCE and after two months of worrying I got my reply back from that. It was a no. I've been offered the chance to go back to Preston and study again but with no student finance All I can worry about is where I'm going to live or how I'll get enough money together etc. Scary times for a young person.

The next worrying part was my job. Having a lot of hours and then most of my hours going to other people and knowing that you haven't got as much money coming in as you thought, it doesn't half change your outlook on life. Its hard as well knowing that you want a second job but not being able to get one because there are no jobs out there plus you don't know where your going to be living in a months time so you cant plan for the future.

On a sad note, sometimes we pray and worry about things happening in our lives at the moment that's out of our control. My friend recently became very ill and it was out of my hands. The power of prayer always helps even if it seems to be doing nothing. Unfortunately she passed on recently but the power of prayer helped her to get well enough to go back home and be with her family when she was called heavenwards. A true blessing to her and her family.

One thing that I've always prayed for is certainly sporting events to happen to me and having a vision of what you want to do always helps. My vision was to hit 50 and set a new family record with the bat which I completed recently but I'd been praying for that for ages before it happened just proving that regardless of my timing and what I wanted and when i wanted it. God will surface when he says it time to do it.

But in all of this God was present all the way through it, though the hardship and through the good times but I wouldn't of got there with out a few verses and one song.

The song I'd recommend listening to and just think about the lyrics being said is: Where were you (when the world stopped turning) By Alan Jackson. Funny enough I didn't know that part of the chorus was taken from the bible until the other day.

The verses that have stuck with me are:
Matthew 6:25-27
Luke 12:25

Well worth checking out and thinking about and praying about.

Graduation. End of an era

So its that time again. The end of an era/year. I have to say the past three years have been the most enjoyable years of my life. Meeting new friends, growing in my religion, passing university with a 2:1, earning responsibility. But it hasn't always been an easy ride. with car crashes, health problems, operations, worrying, hard work, long travels and a lot of money spent. But its been worth it.

For me this is a sad time. Leaving my friends in Preston and university mates going back to different counties and countries you always have this feeling inside of 'will I ever see them again'? Although technology is good this days it does help having Facebook and mobiles.

However the main point of the blog isn't to talk about graduation its about the future. Unlike last year I have two options this year which hopefully one of them will come true. The first is my PGCE interview next week, the other is about going back to Preston to to join the church academy and study for another year. Both of these are perfect for me because of my high work level and my religion. 

I was given a mat in my graduation card from my parents. The picture below shows you what was included on it. The thing that got my thinking about this is the fact we don't really get told to do it. Even if we do we come up with excuses about not being able to do it. But should we take a step of faith and go for it and see how far we get or do we wait to see if we can do it in the future. 

If I acted upon my own advice I've been on the first plane to Australia for the summer to coach and play cricket. 

But maybe you just need to look at the picture below and say "I'm going to do it"

Whether its finishing university with a high grade, getting your perfect job, marrying the young lady you've been with for years or moving to your first home.

Just go for it and remember, God is with you.

Decisions....

Have you ever had that moment in your life when you don't know which way to go, you feel like your at cross roads, or just feel like your in the middle of nowhere with no one around you.

I found recently that all these decisions can come up all at once. Since I've been university the first 2 and a bit years have flown by. Its now got to the stage where I've got to think about where I want to live, the type of job I want, which county or even country I want to live in. These decisions have been bothering me for a while now and its amazing how much thinking time you get when you've got nothing to do.

Everyday we're presented with problems and our choices and decisions impact what we do and how we do it. I attended a meeting the other day where I took the decision to pray for a friend of mine. God compelled me to pray for him. I prayed a prayer that I have never prayed before. After praying this he looked in to my eyes and God gave him the knowledge that he needed to know about me and through him God answered a prayer and thankfully it had a good answer. He took the decision to tell me the answer God gave him. A quote that I was also heard that night was "show me your friends and I'll show you your future". Never before has this quote been so easily brushed a side but is so easy to see from the outside.

We have decisions round us everyday, some hard some not. For me I was job searching the other day and found a job that would be perfect however it took me a while to figure out if I should go for it. but one thought came to me. "If I get it and something better comes a long then I can always leave".

I had a hard decision to make recently. My dad as taken in to hospital and the first diagnose wasn't brilliant. my decision was either to return home and not do a specific coaching course, or return home. But the thing is when we get decisions like this we often decide without thinking about it. If I had of returned home what could I of done. He was in hospital with doctors and nurses caring for him. the decision I took.... was to stay were I was.

Another decision I had to make during the winter was weather I wanted to take the captaincy for this coming season. the decision was playing this season as captain or play this season and get back to the standard I was at before my long term injury took too much toll on me. After taking it I can already see it having a good effect on me and improving me and others with Gods help.

Some of our decisions can come back to haunt us. As we look in the bible one story crops up with decisions and its the story of the talents. the basics of the story is that two people go away and double when their master gave them and the third person keeps what the master gave him and did nothing with it. When the master came back he was happy with the first two but not with the second. this decision came back to haunt him.

However the main this is being able to live with the decisions that we make and maybe accepting sometimes that we were wrong or that are more then one way to do something. I think the most declined decision that most people make in this world is not seeking help when its readily available.

Skills, losing them and realising potential.

Its funny how he saying goes "you don't know what you've got till its gone or if you don't use it you'll lose it".

Well I thought I'd flip this round to see if you could do things that you didn't know you could do.

Recently I embarked on a few tough tasks to see if I could do what I never thought I could do or after having time off to see if I could still put those skills I had to use.

It all started recently when I served with my church on a ministry called Inside Out. Fantastic ministry. I embarked on some jobs in this area that I have never done before. I spent a week serving in different peoples houses or at the offices. in one house I found out that I had skills that I had never really used and didn't even know that I had. I had some idea about decorating and so it came as no shock when we got asked to decorate a ladies house which to be honest was fun and full of personal reward. However that wasn't the bit that surprised me.

The following day after decorating we returned and decided to lay a new carpet for her. To my surprise I was asked to assist even though I'd never laid one before and there was plenty of people there who had laid plenty of them and to my surprise it was fairly simple. Taking up the old carpet and carpet rods to then lay a new carpet and complete the removal of the old one.

It was amazing to see that I had these new skills that I didn't know I had and knowing what I know now not only will help me but will also help others too.

The second half of this blog is on skills that we might of lost or having something and then losing it but with a twist.

The first bit is on sport. I played my first game in nearly a year on Saturday and my second game on Sunday and its good to see that even though I have trained in a year or even bowled or batted that I still have the skills I had before and more then the last time I played.

This part is the hardest bit for me to write. This bit is on current affairs in my life. Having something then losing it. There's two close people that I know who are both got serious bad health. One is very close to me and another is a former work friend. The former work friend is slowly getting better and so is the other person. But I got a phone call the other week about one of the people and the question I'll ask is have you ever had someone so seriously ill that you've prepared yourself emotionally?

I have.

Its something that's hard to deal with when you get told the news and every day there's another piece of the jigsaw coming in and you have to try and fit it all together. I thought I was going to lose someone very dear to me however that was not the case. At least not yet anyway.

Its funny how life can kick us when we feel nothing can hurt us. However its funny that when we find something that we thought was lost or not using it can come in pretty handy.

Just look in the bible. The woman who had 10 coins and then lost one she looked for it until she found it and she through a party because she found 1 coin.

Look at the three servants who were given coins and two multiplied what they were given and one didn't.

So I guess my main question for you readers is this:

Are you going to find something that was lost and use it to multiply something for you or others

OR

Are you going to just sit back and not both looking and hope that what you have is enough?

Experiences with God

Last week, while I was serving at a youth ministry with my church. I was on stage and after giving my testimony I got asked a question that stumped me for a bit.

I was brought up in a Christian home so I've always been a Christian. The question I was asked was:

"When did you have your first experience with God".

If anyone could of looked in my head at that moment you wouldn't of found a lot of action. You could of heard a pin drop.

I thought it was such a good question that it deserved a mention and maybe an explanation.

I've actually had two experiences with God. The first was when I was 16/17 I'd left church due to being beaten up and being put in hospital decided that I wouldn't go to church but I still prayed and read my bible every so often but my faith was pretty much gone. I got asked if I wanted to go to spring harvest from a family from my church in Nottingham and so I decided to go.

I sat near the back and sang the songs but unknown to me god was working in me. For some unknown reason I decided that I needed to buy a new bible, I had no idea why but I knew I needed one. Towards the end of the week I felt something stirring in me from my soul. this feeling was like a pain in my heart but not a heart attack pain, the pain you get when you've lost someone and then found them. I remember flinging my arms in the air and singing the songs out with all my heart. I started to pray during one of the songs for anything and everything, I remember apologising for everything I'd done and for turning my back on god when I should of asked him why things happened.

I'd never had this feeling before and I wanted it to leave me. I felt alive.

However that's not the end of the story. Due to various reasons I didn't go to church after that the cricket season came and so did long lie ins. However when I was 20 I had my next experience with God.

I joined a local church when I came to Preston and as soon as I walked in it felt like god spoke to me. I had found my home but that wasn't the experience this blog is about. I'd never been baptised and so I heard there was a baptism service coming up so I put my name down for it. But before that happened I was in church and the preacher asked if anyway needs help with their faith and wants prayer, that they should come to the front and get prayer. For some unknown reason I went to the front and knelt. I got prayer from a good friend of mine and I felt the holy spirit come in to me, it was a feeling I had from spring harvest and I never wanted it to leave me. For some unknown reasons my emotions started to bolt straight to my eyes. Good news I didn't cry. I felt with this feeling that anything was possible. God started to move more in my life and made my take on challenges that I never thought id do or could do.

The good news is God is still moving in my life and new challenges and opportunities are coming up all the time that I'm loving. Just being able to participate in church as a leader, volunteer or just a member of the church I feel like god has placed my at my home and where I need to be for the next chapter of my life.

Life is like a railway.

People describe life as a journey or a road. each has a start and an end but do you really think it describes what lives journey is. Cause I don't.

I see life like a railway. Your the engine and friends, family, work colleagues, students, friends of friends are like the coaches of the railway. Each coach holds people, luggage which all relates to memories. The people who cause you trouble are like the wagons, full of dirty horrible memories that you just don't want to know or hold on to for that long but sometimes they stay for a while.

But to me the life described as a railway helps to create a mental picture of what life really is. The truck is your life and you can in a straight life. Sometimes you derail and its a matter of getting back on track. Other times you choose to came off one track and take another so switching points as they say. Other times there's a barrier in front of you and you have to go round corners to get past it.

In life you also get times when its an uphill struggle or times when you enter an unknown path and you just cant see through it. Kind of like a tunnel and its those times that God helps up. Guiding us through the hard times when we cant see an outcome but we know that our trust in him helps to get us through.

Hills, everyone struggles every now and then it does feel like were on an up hill struggle. Its times like that that we need a support engine or in human terms a friends. it helps to have friends that can help support the heavy load or help to push us through hard times, and once we're over the brow of the hill they run freely with us.

Sometimes people think too much about the past, what their pulling a long with them. Sometimes its better to decouple what your past wagons and then continue your journey. You'll find it much easier. Sometimes people look behind them at what they're pulling sometimes you cant see the end of it. how many wagons do you need to see behind you before you break?

Maybe think about it like this:
Are you the Flying Scotsman? Strong, powerful, forever pulling long trains.

Are you the Mallard? Fast, strong, sometimes rushing around to much that you miss things and sometimes have to go back on yourself.

Are you The Rocket? Different, something new, reliable, still going strong after all these years.

Are you a tank engine? Always staying in contact with people , working hard?

Maybe your like is like a railway, not a road journey.

Miracles do happen.

As some of you might of guessed from my title this blog will contain a miracle from my recent life. The miracle was so surprising that I'm still shocked now by it.

As a lot of you know this is supposed to be my final year at university however I applied to do a PGCE which if I completed it would allow me to be a lecture at university. I applied at four universities, Edgehill, Loughborough, Derby and Sheffield Hallam.

Just before Christmas I had an interview at my number one choice, Edgehill. Unfortunately I found out in my first week back at university in January that they rejected me. On the same day Loughborough had rejected but there course was full. For the best part of a month after hearing back from them I waited for Derby to get back to me and on one Saturday night they did.

It was a shock to hear back from a university on a Saturday however I got the email saying that they were going to reject me from the PGCE course and coupled on that email was Sheffield saying they were rejecting me because their course was full. I went for a drive to clear my head and talked and prayed silently while inside it felt like my world had collapsed.

I spoke to some people at church the morning before I went to see my adopted family and went looking for advice and help. Most of the people had the same thing to say. Don't go home, stay here. To be honest and fair, I'd love to stay in Preston. There's a church that feels like home and everyone is helpful and they've helped me through some bad times and helped create good times as well.

I woke up on the Monday afternoon and to my surprise there was an email from Derby offering me an interview. I emailed them back asking if it was for real considering they had rejected me and they said yes. I've got my interview in a couple of weeks and hopefully it'll go better then the Edgehill one.

So in 48 hours I had gone from being destroyed to completely over joyed. However I did something in the first couple of hours after receiving the two rejection notes. I praised god for the pain that that was causing me. a lot of you wont understand why but i prayed for about 20 minutes praising god and thanking him for putting me through that.

See I'm not the only one who goes through pain, suffering.... We all do.
I'm not the only one who's felt like he has no future.... We all have.
I'm not the only one to worry... We all do

Any Christian will tell you the story of Job and how he had a bad life and he still praised god through his suffering and pain. But at the end of the day its about standing tall, sticking your chest out and accepting that pain will happen and with friends you can get through it.

I am coming out as a Disabled Student.

Inspired by others its about time I told people about the real me.

Like others at school I was bullied. I only had an interest in lessons where I didn't have to read much or write. I was bullied about my learning difficulties and weight. But hardly anyone took the time to find out what was wrong with me.

In year 2 I was tested for dyslexia and was considered bad enough to receive help which I got up to my GCSE's. My school at the time had backed me until two teachers said I wasn't that bad. However this wasn't to stay. I had another test and was found to have more then just dyslexia. I was diagnosed with pretty much no phonological memory, a short attention span and a low verbal IQ. This is when it hit home that I wasn't the same. I ended up re-sitting exams while at school because of my dyslexia, slow reading skills and no phonological memory to process information.

It was obvious after I left school that when I went for interviews or had to do written tasks as soon as I said I was dyslexic it was almost like I said I have two heads. people started treating me differently. One problem that has followed me around for years.

I've had help over the years to make me more comfortable while doing English tasks. I came to university and the only help I was given was a memory stick with programs that might help me and a dyslexia stick to put at the front of my work so they used a different marking scheme with my work. Until I hit my third year I then received some proper help. I received a woman who would help me with my spelling and grammar issues in work. In all my years of being in education the one thing I needed more then most was for someone to help proof check my work and help me to correct it. No one had really taken the time to help as they wanted the easy way out. But unfortunately there's no easy way out of being disabled. 

But just because I'm disabled doesn't mean people should treat me differently because of it. It doesn't mean I'll be on the TV show undatebles just so it bring pleasure to views who have know idea what its like to be disabled, and compared to others maybe I'm not severely disabled but a disability is a disability.

What you treat Tom Cruise differently?

What you treat Winston Churchill differently?

What about Albert Einstein?

or Richard Branson, Cher, Jamie Oliver, Orlando Bloom, Agatha Christie, Whoopi Goldberg or Muhammad Ali.

All the above people has dyslexia and funny enough look where they are now.

So consider this, would you want to be treated differently if YOU were disabled?

Future, University, God and The Bible

So far this year I've tried to do things differently, instead of relying on myself to do things I've relied more on God. After getting baptised and turning 21 last year it is about time I took a mature outlook on life.

This stage last year with my future as many of you know. The main problem was would I still be coming back to UCLAN or even Longton Community Church. This felt like home to me and I didn't want to leave. If anything I would of camped in a cardboard box to stay in Preston. Looking back I don't think I was in too much danger of not getting in to university for a third year however, this year is the main problem. I finish my degree and hopefully will graduate (again) with a 2:1 behind me in to the big bad world. But my dream for the past couple of years has been to be a teacher or lecturer and for that I need to spend at least another year at university. So with all the energy and prayer I had I attended an interview at the university which would of kept me at home in Preston only to find out after Christmas that Edgehill and Loughborough had rejected me. Edgehill didn't like me and the next one I wanted their course was full. So I'm not relying on derby and Sheffield so any prayers ill be accepted with open arms.

This year I decided I was going to read the bible in a year which so far is going good. I've found it amazing when people mention Genesis people can only tell you the main stories, Creation, Noah, Joseph. But just from reading it over the past months I've learned so much that will add to my walk with God. I've now moved on to Job which id never read before and it helps to create the message below.

I've found through reading Job and the rest of the bible that God doesn't give us more then we can handle even though sometimes it feels different, and in the past I've found it hard to praise God when times have been really bad but Job had a worse time then me. Being covered in sores from head to toe he stilled worshipped and praised God. I've found its amazing how someone can do that even through all their troubles. These a Christian speaker who talks about his troubles and through his childhood he life was turned upside down and he inspired me to write an earlier blog (John 20 verse 1-15) check it out it gets you thinking.

Along with the bible I read a book called the purpose driven life that I'd recommend to anyone I found it helped me a lot. But one sentence from the book still sticks with me "God only puts worry in our life to tell us that we are drifting from him". When we recognise this to be true we go back to god and realise that the worry disappears.

So my advice to you is not to worry which can seem harder then it sounds and just pray to God. He's got the answers for you.

God has time, a place and answer for you so just keep praying.

2013 and First's

So happy new year to all that read this. I've been starting to write blogs but after a while struggled for topic areas so I thought this would be a good one to start on.

Since it is a new year there's a lot of people saying that this is their year and I'm no different. This is my year.

This is my year to graduate from university again. This is my first year in captaincy,  This is my year to seriously think about my career. This is my year to think about where I want to live (Preston or Nottingham).

This year I've created another bucket list for this year with some of the things being more specific to the first 5 months of the year. This year is my random year of stuff. So as an audience you could have some influence on some things I do with in this year.

So far the things were have come up with is:
Lose two and a half stone,
Having a McDonalds on Christmas day,
Get a 2:1 at university,
Read the bible everyday.

While I write this I've figured out I need to do something for lent this year. So any suggestions are welcome and I'll see what people say.

As you can tell my list is short at the moment but adding this with some of the things on my bucket list blog then I have a few more but any suggestions are welcome

Wanting. Getting. But in the end not happy.

Since its been a months since my last blog I thought that its about time that I write a new one.

Its amazing how troubled one person can become with their own thoughts. But add others in to it and it gets even more confusing. I don't mean the thoughts of what someone thinks of a song, cake, football team or even diet coke. Its also amazing that people say if I have that I'll be happy, or if I have that my life will be complete. But will it? Truthfully? There's been times in my life when I've been like that. Like in May when all I wanted to do was get in to UCLAN to do my top up, that's all I wanted.

In June I was ruled out of sport and all I wanted to do was recover as quickly as possible to go and play cricket again, later on that year I had a minor health scare and all I wanted to do was to get the results back as quickly as possible. The downside was when I had recovered I still couldn't play and even when I got the results back I still wasn't happy. Just momentarily satisfied.

If we take sport again all I wanted was for my team Mansfield town to win the league to regain league status however how long does bragging rights of winning the league count for? Even then after they won the league my focus switched to can we stay in the league. So once again, wanting getting but in the end not happy.

There have been so many events in my life where I’ve wanted something but not been happy afterwards. But all the way through this there has been one person who has helped to guide me. Jesus. He’s done some wonderful things in my life its unreal. He guided me after my granddads death, he guided me after I got rejected from university twice, he’s helped me to get through times and problems that without him wouldn’t of been possible.

He is certainly one area of my life that I've wanted, got and certainly been happy afterwards.

Last week I had a job interview, it came up with a difficult decision. Either find the job and stay in Nottingham or go back to Preston for another years studying. I know now which one I should do but what happens after this year do I then come back to Notts or stay in Preston. So even when I have a decision made for me and I want it am I still not happy. Its amazing how Life is like this and the different ways people deal with things. Just remember God will Help!!!

What are you looking for (John 20 verse 1-7 & 10-17)

What are you looking for?

So this is first blog that is specifically written around one my favourite stories in the bible. In the bible the title says The Empty Tomb.

I've had some dark days in my life without asking God to help me through them. But after reading this story I can't not ask God for help when this get down.

The one thing I've taken from the story is that you have to ask God for help and as soon as he says your name, everything will change. But he will only say your name when you ask! Verse 15 Jesus has to ask Mary who she's looking for before he can tell her that he's not the gardener. Jesus had to ask Mary Magdalene who she was looking for before he could answer.

What you have to remember is it doesn't matter how messed up you are, how far you feel away from God, how alone you feel. God will answer you. In verse 15 Mary's response to Jesus is " Sir if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him and I will go and get him". Mary wasn't big enough to bring Jesus back but there was something about this dead man that she had to see just one last time. At some point during that Jesus would have had to of stopped all time and space to return to his Father to say let me say her name, She's weeping and I need to let her know that everything is ok.

I remember a time when I felt so far away from God, pretty much screaming his name to help me and its only when I admitted from the bottom of my heart that I needed him he said my name. He Said My Name.

A lot of of us sometimes feel like we have to see Jesus to confirm that he's there, that we, like Thomas verse 25, have to see the nail holes in his hands. But think about Moses and the burning bush, there were signs but he never waited to see God, he heard God and a lot of us don't listen because we want the physical presence instead of spiritual presence.

So here's the question for you: What Are You Looking For?
I don't mean this stuff: money, popularity, good looks.
I mean: a saviour, love, a family.

So What Are You Looking For?

Inspiration Number 1 Rebecca.

Until this year I had a cousin called Rebecca. Her story is a sad one but its one that has inspired me since her passing. She was 24 when she was diagnosed with brain cancer and was only given two years to live. A lot of people would think that this would be sad and yes I do miss her, however, she always looked at life with a positive outlook. Shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer she was determined that she would see her 30th birthday. This was her main objective. This would mean shed have to live longer then those 2 years that they'd given to her.

I remember the fateful day that I was told about it and not feeling like I was close to god at the time didn't seem to help. Ever since that day her determination never stopped. I suppose somewhere someone prayer for her and looking back I might have done too. I never saw her that often but I remembered one time that I did see her 2 years later. It was strange to see that this young lady who had lovely hair and a slim figure to change so quickly. When I saw her shed lost this lovely hair and the slim figure but it was definitely her. That smile and the way that she talked.

Looking back it was sad to say that was the last time I saw her a live. I went off to university up north and Rebecca became weaker and weaker. Then the fateful day came. I remember it well I was out with friends celebrating what one of them had achieved. I got the text on the way to the first event. The first event couldn't of been a better way of taking out my frustration that a young lady had been taken away from us at such a young age. At least there was one good piece of news. shed gone quietly in her sleep and that she was no longer suffering.

I remember the funeral like it was yesterday, the songs were perfect for her: Aerosmith, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing and Bon Jovi, Bed of Roses. Two beautiful songs for a beautiful family member. Even though she's know longer with us she's had a massive impact on inspiring me. Although that's not the end of the story.

The bad news is she passed away when she was 28, four years had passed since she had been given the cancer news but she never gave up on trying to reach 30. The moral of the story that I've got is that: never give up, even if it seems impossible because even the word impossible has the word possible in it. Look in the bible at David and Goliath did David give up. No. Look at Roger Banister no one said he could run a mile in under 4 minutes but he did.

Just because it seems impossible doesn't mean that it is with God. Everything is possible and he'll tell you what's possible.